How To Wipe Your Butt Using Natural TP

“No, not again! I’m five minutes into my run and holy sh!t, I gotta sh!t! No, this isn’t something that can wait. No, I can’t hold it. Hell, I can’t even make it back to my house! It’s gonna happen NOW!”

How many of us athletes have experienced this, “Sh!t happens!” situation? What are we to do? For me, it’s happened far more frequently during a run than any other activity but we all know sh!t can strike you at anytime, anywhere and if you’re outside, especially during the pre-dawn hours, with no rescue from indoor plumbing then you’d better know how to handle it.

Now, I’ve heard of all sorts of sacrificial solutions for impromptu toilet paper such as 1) use your shirt and toss it afterwards 2) use your socks, at least you’ve got two which will provide for better clean up or 3) just use your underwear and go “commando” but ladies and gentleman, there IS a better way. These solutions are amateur and you can do far better without ruining your best athletic apparel.

I’m going to have to thank my NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School) instructors for this guidance and experience because way back in 1998, when I was on my first “real” backpacking trip, we were NOT allowed to bring toilet paper and we were going to be “going” in nature for 20 nights. Yes, that’s right, 20 nights of pooping in the woods and let me tell you, I’m a daily pooper. (If not, something is going wrong with me. And if you were afraid of TMI then how have you already gotten this far in my post?)

First, a history lesson… did you know commercially produced toilet paper didn’t begin circulating until 1857? That’s pretty recent compared to the history of modern man so there MUST be other ways to wipe your bum, right?

So, I’m excited, yes EXCITED, to share with you, “How To Wipe Your Butt Using Natural TP” and I have 20 years of experience doing it.

Have you noticed I didn’t say leaves. Leaves are a BIG NO-NO! Sure, they seem very much like paper but you never know what kinds of oils or prickers they may have. Even dried leaves are pretty useless because they tend to crumble in your butt crack and you’ve got a bigger mess than when you started.

Also, it’s important to NEVER use anything that isn’t already dead and on the ground. Do not pull anything off a tree or ground cover. For more information you can search Leave No Trace. This includes digging a cat-hole 6 inches deep for doing your business and then covering it up well.

Well folks, I hope this helps you in case of emergency while out for a run or if you’re just ready to venture out backpacking without the trusty convenience of today’s modern, commercially available toilet paper.

There’s nothing like being one with nature and using natural TP will get you that much closer.

If you’ve got a great solution for natural TP then please, share it with us! Also, if you have a friend or loved one who struggles with emergency pooping during activities in the outdoors then do them a favor and share this post.

Sharing is caring and what’s more caring than helping people clean their butt, naturally?



Fan of the "rabbit hole"… how far will I go? - balanced wellness, emotional health, endurance sports & more

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Kevin Strauss

Fan of the "rabbit hole"… how far will I go? - balanced wellness, emotional health, endurance sports & more